Some Things are Worth Waiting
by Sceptic62
Summary: It's hard to find love. But when you're Naruto Uzumaki, it's hard to even find a conversation. But when you meet that one person. That one girl who's perfect. Maybe it's all worth it.


**A.N. I GOT THE INSPIRATIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON. TO WRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITE. But seriously, I may or may not make this a few chapters long, depending on how much inspiration I get. And I'll be going over my past stories now that I've finished their games again :D. Please be patient.**

Uzumaki Naruto was not a normal boy. Hell, for the first five years of his life, he thought he was literally invisible to the average person. How else could a child explain it? When he was five, he literally danced through the entirety of the market district stark naked rubbing his body into every single person he walked into. Not a single one reacted. Not even the baby. Well, it wouldn't be correct to say every single person didn't react. The first shinobi he ran into had to sit him down and explain to him what morals and ethics were and why people shouldn't rub their naked bodies into each other. And why what he did to the baby was _especially wrong._ And that he wasn't invisible. Which instantly caused the boy to blush and hold his hands over his privates in an attempt to relieve his embarrassment. Hiruzen Sarutobi personally thought he was getting way too old for this shit.

The next time Naruto realized something was different between him and other people was as somber as his previous attempt was outrageous. When he turned eight, he decided to give it another shot at interacting with people. So he went to the one sanctuary where all children were given time away from their parent. The park. He even bought a new ball from the convenience store. Of course, the shop owner didn't even bother to ask him to pay, just simply ignored him when he took the ball and asked for its price. Sarutobi-san's explanations of morals ensured that he dropped some money on the counter as he made his way out. He was happy. A new ball and new friends. The children he met weren't as inclined to talk however. Every time he approached, he was rebuffed silently. Even when he threw the ball at a boy's head in rage, the boy simply shook it off and never even turned around. Naruto tried for hours before he collapsed from frustration. He sat there and silently cried. He cried. And cried. It was well into the middle of the night before a man in a cloak and a dog mask showed up and walked Naruto to his house. He tried to thank him, but he was gone before he even turned around. Leaving him to his lonesome self.

At the tender age of ten, Uzumaki Naruto tried to take his own life in a most brutal manner. Using a knife, he quickly pulled the blade across his throat. At the tender age of ten, Uzumaki Naruto made his first friend. His name was Kurama and he was mean. But he talked to Naruto. So what if he was a giant red-orange murderbeast with nine tails? He would talk to him. Threaten him with the destruction of his soul. Threaten the destruction of those he loved. Simply repeated threats of destruction. Naruto thought he wasn't very creative. And, Naruto cried out of joy. Kurama thought it was tears of fear. Until the boy asked one single question.

"Would you want to be my friend?"

Every minute of hurt. Every minute of pain. Every single emotion the Kyuubi could feel through the boy was packed into that one question. Yet, not a single ounce of hate could be smelled. Sure, there was resentment. And anger. But he blamed no one. He simply accepted. And so, Kurama answered.

 **"Very well, Uzumaki Naruto. For now though, you must leave, your body is healed."**

"I'll see you again, right?."

 **"Of course. We are friends now aren't we?"**

When Hiruzen Sarutobi found the boy crying in his apartment with a bloody knife, he thought the lad had cut himself in a cooking accident, and that the reports of his suicide attempt were greatly exaggerated. when the aged shinobi asked why Naruto was crying, he got one simple answer.

"I... I had a really nice dream, Sarutobi-san."

And with that response, the boy wiped his tears clean on a kitchen rag, and rinsed the knife off in his sink. Naruto spent the next few years talking to Kurama about his life. About his lessons at school. About everything in general really. And even though he never got a response, he could feel that the beast was nodding and listening to him intently. The few who payed attention to the boy simply thought he had an imaginary friend.

The next time Naruto made a friend, he had a malfunctioning stove top that bled poisonous gases into the air. The boy couldn't even tell that he was dying. Just one minute he was awake, and the next was dark. And a moment later, he woke up on a beach in the middle of the night. Trying to get a sense of his bearings, the boy tripped over his own feet into the clear water. He took a good long look at himself. He looked like a damned teenager! And for some reason, he was naked except for a small loincloth and club attached to a belt at his hip. Hell, he looked like a teenage version of the Fourth, muscles and all, not considering his trademark whisker marks of course. He tore himself away from his reflection, and looked for a way away from this beach. He found a small slope, and trees that even out stripped those of Konoha's forest. Quickly climbing up the groggy wood, he heard a lot of interesting noises. Groans, grunts and the sound of chimes and the sound of a heavy wind. He pulled himself onto the ledge. Peering over he saw a red headed girl waving a staff and throwing what looked like condensed chakra at... his train of thought stopped. Those things looked like zombies. He leaned all the way over the ledge to get a closer look. Those _were_ zombies. And one was sneaking up on the pretty girl with a hatchet! He couldn't let this happen, so he stood up and started channeling chakra to his feet. One of the first things they taught in the academy was how to roof hop safely. It was a fairly good beginner's chakra exercise and a great physical workout. So he made the jump off the ledge and landed with a hefty impact. It stung a bit, but he couldn't waste any time. Barefoot, he sprinted across the excessively large branch path and took his club and knocked the head clean off with a chakra enhanced swing.

 **Bit of a POV change.**

The girl heard the commotion behind her and was about to unleash another barrage of soul arrows from her staff before she took a good look at the undead behind her. He certainly was no hollow. Standing over the ashen remains of a hollow, her apparent savior had bright blonde hair, blue eyes, and a carefree smile. He looked about half a head taller than she was. She held her staff at the ready, and asked him who he was.

"Naruto Uzumaki at your service. Looked like you coulda used some help!" His voice and personality seemed to be as bright as his appearance. Seeing his sheer openness, she immediately dismissed him as a threat. She could tell the man literally wore his emotions on his sleeves... which he didn't have. Which prompted a cursory glance at the rest of his body. Oh god. _Oh god_. She could almost make out his _thing_ through the loincloth. And the rest of his body looked like a sculpture walked out of some king's art collection and came to life. She was only seventeen for god's sake! She didn't even remember seeing a man _shirtless_ before! Maybe her modesty was some remnant of her past before the curse, but she couldn't help but look away as her face flushed.

"I supposed I should tha-What in the world are you doing!" She nearly shouted as he put his face close to hers and brought his body even closer. She was so stunned she couldn't even move as all her blood was literally brought to the front of her skin. He then brought his forehead to her forehead with just his hand inbetween them. God his eyes were bright.

"Just checking to see if you caught anything from those zombie bandits. Ya look sick yanno?" He simply brushed off her apparent flustered appearance and hummed to himself as he compared their temperatures. Done with his comparison, he stopped leaning into her personal space.

"Guess not. So ya know the way out?" And once again, he smiled. She looked away once again, trying to simply ignore both his stupidity and absurdity. She folded her arms and frowned.

"I do. As thanks for your assistance, I will lead you out of this forest." She said stately. There, perfect. Prim and proper. And the idiot was smiling again. She could smell something stupid was about to happen. And made her displeasure visually known.

"Ah come on don't pout, we'll be fine!" He said as he grabbed her hand and dragged her down the path. Wait. She wasn't pouting. She was a grown woman, there was no way she was pouting because of some idiot running around in his under garments. She let out a sigh and cleared her head. And started dragging him in the other direction.

"You have to take a left back here idiot!"

"No need to be so mean Red-chan!" He whined. She grunted in frustration.

"My name is Chiyoko Miyazaki! And don't call me chan!" What an annoying man. She couldn't help but smile though.

 **POV Swap**

The journey to the place Chiyoko called Majula was pretty uneventful. Except when he made friends with the giant hippo monster. That was pretty cool. Chi-chan had a pretty big red mark on her forehead from when she slapped herself in the face though. And she really liked the word idiot. Like, a lot. Like, enough that those two weird crows started calling him idiot cause they thought it was his name. He frowned a bit at the memory. That was just insulting. He was definitely smarter than those crows. At least he and Chi-chan talked a lot. Well, mostly he talked. About Kurama and cool things in his village. Like the Hokage monument and Sarutobi-san. She simply added some more commentary about his stupidity. Especially about the baby incident.

He slowly meandered down the road behind Chiyoko, lost in his thoughts before he suddenly bumped into her and caused her to stumble. He caught her by the waste and pulled her close. The two stood embracing for what felt like an eternity before Chiyoko pulled away and turned around while making some exaggerated hand motions with a flustered face. He thought she was about to explode before someone giggling caught both their attention. The culprit was a woman about as tall as he was, who was sitting on some rocks around a weird campfire with a sword in it. The woman wore a green shawl with a hood, and a simple dress that had some criss-cross string design across the front. She flipped her hair out of the way, which was a fair shade duller than Chiyoko's own hair.

"My, my. Who is your new friend Bearer of the Curse?" The woman asked warmly as she examined Naruto.

"His name is Idiot," Chi-chan then turned to him. "Idiot, this is Shanalotte the Emerald Herald. And he's not my friend. He helped me out in the forest so I led him here as thanks." Chiyoko finished explaining. Naruto frowned. He thought they were friends. Well, at the very least, she was his friend. He smiled and introduced himself to the Herald.

"My name's Naruto Uzumaki. And ignore Chi-chan. We're friends, she's just being grumpy about it." He said while smiling. Chiyoko huffed in annoyance and turned away. The Herald giggled once more.

"And what makes you say that?" Chiyoko inquired. And this time, he smiled. It wasn't like the others he showed her. He was so sure and confident, she could feel the happiness that radiated from him.

"Well, to be friends you just have to care about each other right? I care about you, Chi-chan, and I can tell you care about me in your own, weird, strangley sort of way." Naruto explained, still smiling like he found the truth to life. Chiyoko, a bit stunned with his explanation, simply muttered in agreement and nodded. The Herald started outright chuckling, and Chiyoko shot her with a glare that would whither even the strongest of men. She chuckled harder.

"I think it's good that you two are friends. Naruto, did you know you're the first friend she made since she came to Majula?" Naruto looked surprised, and Chiyoko looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole.

 **POV Change**

Oh god. Oh no. No no no no. No. The idiot and the Herald get along. And Shanalotte wants to share embarrassing secrets. Is this what the shattering of your reputation feels like? God she wished she took Silver talismans instead of the souls from the Firekeepers. She should jump down the well. That's the only way she can cleanse myself of this embarrassment. Chiyoko nodded to herself in agreement and pounded the bottom of her fist against her hand. As she took her first step towards the entrance to the large pit in the middle of the town, the blonde started talking.

"What? But who wouldn't want to be friends with Chi-chan?!" The (in her mind) Idiot exclaimed.

"She has so many cool things about her!" She stopped her plans of honorable suicide and turned back to him, ready to accept her fate of forever being humiliated by whatever drivel he spewed.

"She's so smart," Okay so far so good.

"She's pretty, I mean her hair's beautiful," She didn't know why, but that comment certainly made her stand up a bit straighter. She started straightening her hair with her hands a bit as well.

"She can do these cool jutsu that shoots condensed chakra," Her soul arrows? Chiyoko guessed being a mage was pretty cool if she had to say so herself.

"She may be a bit mean-" A glare. He could sense her glare. A glare beyond the intensity of a thousand suns. In fact, it would melt those same suns. Melt suns. He quickly changed the course of his speech and continued singing her praises. Chiyoko smirked and continued playing with her hair absentmindedly.

"So why wouldn't anyone want to be her friend?" He asked. Chiyoko was a bit shocked. Did they not have the curse of the undead where he came from? She stared at his open declaration, and noticed that the Herald was about to explain. She looked towards the herald and tried to convey her feelings in a quiet manner. The Herald paused after she saw Chiyoko's expression. It was one of hurt. And Shanalotte could understand why. While the curse of undeath had infected the land of Drangleic, it was spotty so to speak. In a city of thousands, as few as thirty or forty would be cursed. And those same ones were shunned. As was Chiyoko shunned by the townspeople of Majula. The Herald coughed into her hand after closing her mouth.

"She's shy. She needs someone to break her out of her shell. Someone like you, Naruto." The Herald said.

"Then I'll do it. I'll make sure she won't ever feel shy or unwanted ever again." Somehow, Chiyoko could tell that Naruto picked up on whatever Shanalotte was trying to hide. Then she felt flustered again. No one should make such an open declaration. Especially to someone they just met.

"I-I-Idiot. We're not even friends, why would you do that for me?" Chiyoko challenged. He stared with the same conviction as he had earlier. She felt her own resolve waver under the sheer force of will that was Naruto Uzumaki.

"What did I say earlier Chi-chan? Friendship is about caring for each other. And, even though you may not care for me, which I think is a lie, I care a lot about you. I cherish my friends, so I cherish you Chi-chan, and I won't ever let you push me away." He smiled that same smile. The same one from earlier that declared his intentions so openly she couldn't even argue. Chiyoko blushed and looked away. And then grumbled.

"Huh? You say something Chi-chan?"

"I said "FINE!". We're friends, I guess. Idiot, trying so hard when someone doesn't even want it." Naruto simply belly laughed, and Shanalotte chuckled. It paused however when he had a strange look come over his face. And he grasped his stomach, and gasped in pain. chiyoko rushed over to help him stand straight.

"Are you alright? Do you need estus? A doctor?" She asked, genuinely worried and hoping that her new friend wasn't about to keel over on her.

"Ah, it's just... I'm being called home. I'll see you later, ne, Chi-chan?" He smiled at her, before standing up straight. His body started flowing into dust, and soon enough, he was gone from the land of Drangleic.

" 'We're friends, I guess.' You sure that you don't have something more you want to say Oh Bearer mine?" Shanalotte teased.

"Shutup, Shutup, SHUTUP." The Herald's chuckles could be heard well into the night.

 **Dana nana nana nana BATMAN**

When Naruto woke up again, he was smiling. He hoped that whatever dream that he had met Chi-chan in would keep on coming back so he could see her. But for now he had a life to live. He pulled his dishes together and cleaned up. He tried to stack the remains of his dinner in the fridge but nearly tripped over himself trying to reach the top shelf.

"Man it sucks being short again." The child pouted

 **Dana nana nana nana TIMESKIP**

Over the next few weeks, Naruto repeatedly had life threatening accidents. He had no clue why. Perhaps his time in his taller body made him clumsy? He wasn't complaining much though, since it gave him plenty of excuses to see Chi-chan. She was so fun to make fun of. And really cute when she blushed. Sue him. He was ten, he liked cute things. Though the whole "fighting eldritch monsters so he could use their souls as sustenance" thing was sort of creepy. He wasn't complaining much about that either though. He learned some of the _coolest_ stuff. He got really good at kenjutsu. Like really good. And was able to make his body super strong, which transferred over to his real body too! He found this out after accidentally tearing the door off its hinges when he tried to open it in a hurry. Then there was the whole magic thing. Or jutsu. Whatever, he didn't care what it was called. He was throwing lighting and spitting globs of living darkness. No matter what you called it, _that shit was cool_. Oh look, the knife he was using to cut vegetables exploded and sent steel shrapnel into his lungs. As he passed out, he heard some muttering about trash assassins and "tired of this shit". He wondered who that was.

"Ohayo Chi-chan!" And he embraced her fully. In the middle of this giant dangerous temple that seemed to have, for some odd reason, a bottomless pit that smelled like poison. Naruto had no clue where they were, and said as much.

"We're in the sunken city of Shulva, more specifically, the Dragon's Sanctum, Idiot. Now let go."

"No, you're warm, Chi-chan." He snuggled deeper into the crook of her neck. Chiyoko had long gotten used to Naruto's open displays of affection. No matter how embarrassing they were, she always sighed and moved on. Just like now.

"Then come on, we have to climb down there and find the shard of darkness." He nodded in response and followed her down. They began spelunking across the platforms until eventually they reached the bottom. He thought it was a good workout. Painfully slowly, they walked across and engaged the fog door.

 **POV Change.**

"Ready?" She asked.

"Always ready, Chi-chan!" He said while grinning, and then he shoved through. She followed shortly after. Huh. Well, this was unexpected. On the other side, Naruto found a young woman, perhaps at most, two or three years older than himself. He thought she was quite striking honestly. Long black hair and pale skin, with bright green eyes. She smiled serenely while reaching into the folds of her white dress. Was that a wand? Oh. Ooooooooooooh. A giant knight coalesced from the surrounding darkness, his golden face plate gleaming in the candle light, and bell hammer at the ready. Chiyoko readied herself, bringing her straight sword and staff up to bear.

"Hi again Veldstadt-san!" The knight nodded in acknowledgement. Oh god. Chiyoko couldn't believe it. This mass of darkness wasn't even _actually_ the noble guard of the King of Drangleic that they fought in the past. If anything, it was a wraith made with the leftover shreds of darkness that encompassed his soul.

"How've you been?" The knight paused for a moment as if contemplating, then held his hand out and waved it in a manner as if to say so-so.

"Well that's good. Could ya let us pass you though? We have to find this thing called a shard of darkness." The knight once again paused, and shook his head. He then pointed at the young woman next to him. Then pointed at himself.

"She IS the shard of darkness? And you have to defend her? Well that's lame. Ah well, put'em up Velsdstadt-san!" Chiyoko couldn't deal with it anymore. She had to ask.

"How in the nine hells does a _wraith_ of darkness made in the shape of a foe that you KILLED remember you? Hell, why the hell does he even remember you fondly? How can you even understand his weird hand motions? He isn't even talking!" She was nearly screaming at the end. Chiyoko couldn't take much more of this stupidity. It was one thing to be polite to an enemy but this was ridiculous.

"Well, that's rude Chi-chan. Veldstadt-san's been talking this whole time." His attention was drawn away by the giant knight once more.

"Huh? Yeah, I know right? I think she just has selective hearing, Veldstadt-san." The knight nodded in response. And then they both shot Chiyoko an expression that somehow radiated supreme disappointment. She couldn't even see the fake Veldstadt's face, yet she knew that behind the imperial helmet, he was almost pouting. Chiyoko... well, she didn't deal with stupidity that well. And the singularity of world warping stupidity that was Uzumaki Naruto broke her just a bit inside. She screamed her frustrations to the world, dropped her staff, and pulled out two Greatswords from her bottomless pack and charged. Poor, poor, Veldstadt.

 **POV Change**

Man, Chi-chan sure was rude. He didn't even get to finish his friendly banter with Veldstadt-san before she charged.

"My, my, this lass sure is feisty, laddie! How in the world do you deal with her in bed?" Perhaps it was better off that Chi-chan couldn't hear Veldstadt-san thought Naruto. He was a pretty open pervert in all honestly.

"Ah, Veldstadt-san, we're not like that. We're just friends. She's my best friend even!" He chuckled a bit while turning towards the girl, hoping to get a nod in response. She just screamed even louder and her face was flushed. Was that? Was that lightning on her Greatswords? Chiyoko doesn't even know miracles! How did she even cast it without wielding a talisman? So many questions buzzed around in Naruto's head before his thought was interrupted.

"If it's any consolation, your friend can't hear Veldstadt because his voice was cursed long ago. Some nonsense about being too perverse for a woman to hear and still retain her innocence." Huh. That certainly explained a lot. Like why Veldstadt regaled Naruto with tales of his conquests and dirty jokes when they first fought. And why every time he made an innuendo about her, Chi-chan had no idea. Even now he was making plenty of dirty jokes about their totally platonic relationship. Huh, Naruto didn't even know that you could enchant a single Greatsword with flames and lightning, let alone two of them.

"Ah, I see." Honestly he didn't. Veldstadt was bad, but he was nowhere near as bad as that dog Anbu or Sarutobi-san. Dog-san literally read pornography in the park in front of children and Sarutobi-san had a crystal ball that let him spy on _anything_. Maybe their society was more repressed than his own? The woman in front of him giggled.

"Nonetheless, I can sense that you have a great understanding of miracles. I am head priestess of the church of the dragon lord Sinh. Perhaps you could stay a while, and I could...ah teach you some things about faith?" She asked demurely. She tilted her head and smiled a bit. Naruto thought she looked hungry. Somewhere in the background, he could sense Chi-chan's sun-destroying glare. He shuddered. It certainly didn't help that Veldstadt was making dirty jokes that even he didn't understand. The hell was _menage a trois_?

"Sorry, but Chi-chan and I have a mission to complete. I don't know what it is, but that's why I leave all the thinking to Chi-chan. She's super smart!" He smiled and readied himself by pulling his spear off the holster on his back. He had come a long way from being nearly naked in a loincloth with a piece of wood as his only weapon. He stood covered in silver armor, that was emblazoned with the aspects of a Lion, that he had won in combat from the guardian of the Church of Blue. The same place he got this bad ass spear. It shot lightning. He couldn't find the helmet for some strange reason. He was pretty sure Chi-chan kicked it over the edge of the balcony with a blush, but he couldn't understand why so he never asked. Meanwhile, Veldstadt was making some weird abstract jokes about dragon caves, knights, and spears. Naruto knew these were supposed to be funny, but he never understood them. Maybe his sense of humor was weird? He shook his head and refocused himself, as the woman started chanting. A giant wave of darkness was unleashed, and gone was the beauty, replaced by the beast. Her white priestess dress was replaced with what appeared to be brambles of a tree, and her pale, smooth skin turned brown and wrinkled with the signs of deep hollowing. And her hair and face? Well, the less said the better.

"A shame then. I haven't recently had anyone to... share my faith with. Not even my own husband cared much for my worship. My name is Elanna, Squalid Queen of Shulva, the Sunken city. Prepare yourself, mortal, to be sacrificed in the name of Lord Sinh." She clapped her hands together, manifesting a wave of darkness, before pulling them apart, and revealing a massive axe with a stone head. Naruto angled his spear down in the same stance that the Guardian of the cathedral used. Man, Veldstadt was on a roll. But why was he calling the king a masochistic cuckold? And why the hell was he putting sacrifice in airquotes? Naruto personally thought religion was a pretty cool thing. It showed devotion. He didn't care for it, but he respected it.

"Give me all you got!"

A bunch of extremely, extremely, liberal applications of Sunlight Spear later...

He stood there with Elanna's soul in his hand. It was dark. Despicably dark. He could see the hatred and sheer negative emotion that stained the woman's soul. It was also so warm, and gave off an eerie light that called to him. He couldn't stop himself. He crushed it, and absorbed its essence. Unlike the rush of knowledge, or strength, or even agility that accompanied the absorption of a soul, he simply felt, more whole. It was puzzling. Then came the memories. Then he shuddered. So that's what Veldstadt meant. The king of the sunken city was most definitely depraved.

 **Dana nana nana nana POV**

"Oi, Chi-chan!" He called as he rushed over to her. Chiyoko. Was. Exhausted. And there still was that dumb ass dragon to take care of! God she wished she could sleep. She absentmindedly nibbled on the green root Naruto gave her. She watched as the man kneeled down and tried to get her attention by waving his hand in front of her face. Chiyoko swatted it away. She leaned into the kneeling teenager and snuggled her head against his shoulder. Then she slowly wrapped her arms around him and pushed him to the ground while he was protesting.

"Oi, oi oi! Chi-chan what are you doing!" The blush made him really cute she thought.

"Tired. Make pillow. Quiet."

"What about the dragon? And the whole, end of the world, we have to destroy the curse shtick?"

"Dragon won't move. Someone else." She finished eating the green blossom and tapped on his armor.

"Too hard." Naruto understood and silently dismissed it. Seals were pretty easy once you realized you had an eidetic memory. He laid there silently in his tunic and trousers while she snuggled deeper into crook of his neck.

"Cold." He slowly wrapped his arms around her and held her close to share his body heat.

"Thanks 'Ruto." And Chiyoko passed out.

 **POV Change**

Uzumaki Naruto laid on that hard stone floor for hours thinking to himself. He always had trouble sleeping when he was in this world. Maybe because he was sleeping in his world? Or dead. Nah. Kurama's too cool to let him die. A warm sense of agreement came from his gut. Hmm hmm. Too cool. Naruto spend the next few hours regaling Kurama with what he's been through. And the whole traveling worlds thing. the sensations form his gut varied from surprise to sheer disbelief. And He could sense that Kurama was somehow commenting on his idiocy as well. Speaking of idiocy... Naruto nodded to himself. Time to save the world. He gently shook Chi-chan. Then he shook her a bit harder. No response. Ah, he knew exactly how to wake her up!

"Oi, Chi-chan, I was thinking, and I had an ide-" A hand came up and covered his mouth. The glare that followed was halfhearted and sort of cute he thought.

"Don't even think of finishing that sentence." Naruto wasn't sure why she was glaring, but it probably had to do with the last time he had an idea. He had no idea Shanalotte wore a corset and that male chickens were called roosters. He learned a lot about anatomy that day. Human and poultry. And ethics. Again. And a whole slew of things that apparently he was supposed to understand implicitly as a teenager. Stupid Sarutobi-san. He wanted to know about human weaknesses, not how they made babies. Babies. Huh. Would he be a good dad? He didn't exactly have a role model. Well, Sarutobi-san seemed decent enough. If weird. At least he wasn't going to choose Dog-san. He once saw the man literally walk into the wrong side of the hot springs because his nose was buried in his porn. Chiyoko yawned, stood up, and dusted off her gear.

"Oi, Idiot, get ready. Wait a minute. I know that look. You're thinking of something weird again aren't you." Naruto stood up and geared himself while Chiyoko waited for his response.

"Not really. Just thinking of babies."

"B-B-Babies?" She was blushing. Weird.

"Yeah. I never met my dad or my mom. So I was wondering if I would be a good father." Chiyoko turned away and started mumbling to herself.

"Chi-chan what are you mumbling about?" She looked at him blushed, and nodded to herself furiously. He could almost see his own puzzled expression. That's how confusing she was to him.

"I-I think y-y-you'd make a good father, I-Idiot. You might be beyond redemption when it comes to common sense, intelligence, or owning anything remotely resembling a brain" She began as they walked towards the dragon's chambers.

"Oi, oi-" She held her hand up to his face.

"But, you have a heart of gold." She smiled at him. It was small, but it was one of the first times anyone ever smiled at him truly. Naruto couldn't help himself. He broke into a smile as well. And scooped her up in his arms and hugged her from behind while lifting her.

"Awwww. I think you'd make a great mom, too! You may be mean sometimes Chi-chan, but I know that's only cause you care." He exclaimed. She quickly peeled both of them apart before turning around to tear him a new one. Man, she was blushing so hard he thought her blue-green irises were going to turn red. What the hell is personal space?

 **POV change**

That idiot she thought. Getting her so flustered before such an important battle. They walked through the fog into the dragon's chambers, and looked around, stunned by the sheer size of the cavern.

 **"****************************"**

The sound was purely inhuman. It was primal. It. It scared her. It was nothing like that drake in the cage in Dragon's Aerie, or even anything like the Ancient Dragon that was made of flesh. This dragon was stone, and it leaked a poisonous miasma every time it moved. It was death. Death deathdeathdeathdea- A hand stopped her from shivering. She turned, and the idiot still had that lopsided grin on his face.

"I believe in you." Right! If this idiot that could befriend even the most challenging of enemies believed in her, then she had a right to believe in herself as well. She nodded. No matter how crazy this was going to be.

The battle started fierce. Unlike their previous encounter with Elanna and Veldstadt who were more than willing to trade banter, the dragon was a cornered beast in pain. And like any other animal, it lost its sense of self and lashed out at any target it could find. Chiyoko quickly unfastened her bow from her back and started firing off great arrows. Well, they were more lances than arrows. The people of Anor Londo did not hold back. Ever. Naruto, however, was nowhere near as dexterous enough to use a bow. So he did what he always did. Chuck a shit ton of lighting and living darkness. It might be dishonorable to most knights of Drangleic that he fought this way. Chiyoko personally thought it was actually really cool, not that she'd ever say it. Faith was hard to come by in these times of darkness, the fact that Naruto could still believe enough to throw the amount of Sunlight Spears that he did on a daily basis was astounding. He threw a god awful lot of them. She remembered he often used them to start camp fires before she smacked him out of the habit. What an idiot. She rolled her eyes, now was not the time to be distracted. And as if on the cue of some vengeful god, the dragon changed its attack pattern once it saw a weakness. It dove straight for Chiyoko and she was to late to jump out of the way. She simply closed her eyes in acceptance. All of a sudden, the air was knocked out of her as she crashed to the side.

"Son of a BITCH!" Cursed Naruto. She opened her eyes. Naruto never cursed. He was lying on the ground, gored in the side by the dragon's tail. She rushed over, and helped him limp to cover as he continued chucking Lightning Spears. Why. Why. She was undead. She had estus. She could take the hit. Why the hell would a living man take a deathblow for her?

"You big IDIOT! You know I could have taken that! I had spells, Iron Flesh, even Estus to restore the hit. Why would you take that hit for me?" She was crying now. When did she start crying?

 **POV Change**

"Ne, ne, Chi-chan, it's just a scratch. Come on, wipe those tears. We just gotta kill that bastard and get to Majula so Shan-chan can patch me up." He knew this blow was lethal. He knew that Chiyoko was cursed to undeath. But, he also knew that every time they died, a little bit of their souls died with them. Fuel to bonfire so to speak. He wouldn't even risk Chi-chan dying once. Not even once so that she would be spared the torture of having her soul and memories torn to shreds like some of their friends in Majula. The old hag that sold lifegems didn't even remember her own name! He couldn't let that happen to her. He wiped her tears away, and grasped her arm tightly.

"Chi-chan, we need to stop it. We need the dragon's soul and the stupid crown to make sure you have all the power you can get from the old man. Now come on, I'll give you some cover fire." She nodded and pulled out her straight sword. She looked at him once more before rushing over to attract the dragon's attention. He started channeling Sunlight Spear once more. He never told her where he got his faith from. Even though all the scriptures had said that miracles had to be channeled through faith in gods and religion, Naruto never believed in any of that. He only had faith in one thing. His bonds, and those people who held them. He remembered that smile. That smile she gave him. Then, Sunlight Spear grew stronger. Immensely stronger. A new name came to his mind.

"Lightning Stake, huh? Well, let's see how well you fly!" He threw it as hard as he could. From what he understood, Lightning Stake wasn't meant to be thrown. It was a physical spear made of hardened lightning that could be used to fight close quarters and would dissipate upon leaving the source of faith. Screw that. He was Uzumaki Naruto. If his friend was gonna die, there was no way he was gonna let the rules of the world stop him! The spell flew. Not in the normal sense. Rather, it was similar to the natural lighting of the world. One moment it was in Naruto's hand. The next, in its target's stomach, forcing it into great pain as it span out of air and lost its ability to breath fire.

"Finish it Chi-chan!" He shouted. His voice was hoarse. Shit. When did it get so dark?

 **POV Change**

Chiyoko needed no more encouragement. As soon as the dragon landed, she used her parrying dagger to stab into the stone flesh and use it as a foot hold to grasp its neck. She threw herself up and over its shoulder, and shoved her straightsword right through the joint between its neck and head. The dragon started spewing gouts of flame and thrashing about, but she did not let go. She stabbed it even harder. Rage. Pain. Hatred. She channeled all these negative emotions as she hacked away at the slowly weakening dragon. Eventually, its throes of pain stopped, and it let loose one last rattle before succumbing. Chiyoko didn't care. She ran over to Naruto, and grasped onto him tightly.

"Ne, Chi-chan. Dying like this. In your arms? It isn't so bad I guess." He laughed a bit, and she shushed him and hugged him tighter. His face took on that same strained look as always when he disappeared.

"Why. You told me you knew. You knew I was undead. Why?! WHY!?" She was crying again. He smiled as he slowly turned to dust.

"Because, I know with each death you hollow a bit without humanity and you're to nice to steal any. I couldn't let that happen to you. Ne, Chi-chan, I'll wait for you on the otherside, k?" She grasped his hand, and wiped away her tears.

"Yeah, okay." And with that, he faded away. Chiyoko stood. She wouldn't cry again. She couldn't cry again. Because if she did...

She wouldn't know when she'd stop.

 **Dana nana nana nana Sad transition**

When Naruto awoke, he was standing up in the middle of a sewer. A very familiar sewer.

"Oi, Kurama, you still here fuzzybutt?" A large paw slamming next to him.

 **"Brat."** Naruto grinned. He hugged the paw like one would a brother.

"It's good to see you again Kurama."

 **"It's nice to see you again, Uzumaki."** Naruto frowned.

"We're friends, you should call me Naruto, Kurama!"

 **"I would if I could. However, the best way to put this, is that you are no longer Uzumaki Naruto while at the same time you are still Uzumaki Naruto."** Naruto frowned again. Even the nine-tailed beast was frowning in concentration, trying to piece together the puzzle of Naruto's existence.

 **"Allow me to show you."** Naruto followed it deeper into his consciousness. They stopped before two doors.

 **"This door, is your soul room. It is a metaphysical representation of your soul inside your mind."**

"I see."

 **"No, you do not. The door over there, is your soul room as well."**

"Are you saying I have two souls?" This was some deeply worrying information. I mean, what if he goes insane?

 **"No, rather whatever experience you keep repeatedly having when you nearly die has caused your soul to swell and split into two. To be completely specific, your existence, Uzumaki, is tied to the left one. The one known as Uzumaki Naruto is tied to the right."**

"Well, let's check them out then." Naruto stepped forward, and opened the room designated as his. He opened it, and...

"What gives, there's nothing there, not even a room." He waved his hand around inside. He couldn't see any walls or floor, but there was a warmth that he couldn't even describe.

 **"Look closer brat. Your soul room isn't empty. But-"**

"My soul is emptiness itself, huh?" Man, what a fucking way of introspection. What did that even mean? He's no philosopher. Why couldn't his soul room be a warm bed with Chi-chan in it? He closed it, and walked over and opened the other steel door. What blasted him was a sense of loneliness. Sadness. Apathy.

"So, this is what I was like before..."

 **"Correct. You are now so fundamentally different from the existence known as Uzumaki Naruto, that the world has even created your own body outside this mindscape."** Well, that information was welcome. But...

"Won't that mean there's two of me running around out there?" Kurama grunted and palmed its face.

 **"Idiot, didn't you notice how your original soul still has those negative feelings? Do you still have those feelings? Now wake up already, I don't want to deal with your stupidity anymore than I already have. By the way, you're gonna have to pick a new name."**

 **Dana nana nana nana transition**

This time, he woke up to a cold room and a hard floor. He smiled. Just like he remembered it. There was a draft though. It appears he was naked again. Unfortunate. The young man slowly got to his feet, already used to the height of his body, and walked to the bathroom. He looked in the mirror. Across his chest, was one large scar, that looked like it cleaved right through his body. It partially wrapped around the sides of his chest before tapering off. His whisker marks signifying his link to Kurama no longer existed, or at the very least no where near as prominently. He could sort of feel them with his thumb, but they couldn't be seen. His blue eyes were now a mix of blue-grey, and he had dark strands running through his hair. His sideburns even grew out a bit.

"New name, huh? And Naruto fit so well. Well what else is there... Well, what's my second favorite topping after fishcakes. Ah I got it. Menma. Perfect. From now on I dub thee Uzumaki Menma!" He pointed into his reflection, naming himself and ensuring that he no longer could be considered Uzumaki Naruto.

"Hey weirdo. Why are you in my bathroom? And why are you naked? Should I call the police to fetch you? Or a nursing home?" Menma turned around. Standing there was his younger self. Shit. Wait, why the hell did he look like he was 6 years old. Double shit. Forget about that for now. What the hell was he supposed to say? He didn't want to go to jail for being convicted of molesting children...

"I'm your brother." Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. What sort of lame excuse was that? Who the hell would buy that? He was gonna go to jail and be violated now. They hated child molesters. Oh god why him.

"Reaaaaally? That's awesome. Can I call you Nii-san? Or should I call you Onii-sama? Hey, can you take me out to Ramen I want to-" As the child blabbed on, Menma breathed a sigh of relief. He forgot he was an idiot. Damn it Chi-chan, now he was calling _himself_ an idiot for her. He simply rubbed Naruto's hair with his hand as he walked out of the bathroom.

"Just call me Menma, otouto. And yeah, I'll take you out to Ramen as soon as I meet with Sarutobi-san."

"But you're still naked. Menma-nii." The brat looked so happy to say that he had a brother. Good for him. He wouldn't suffer anymore, even if Menma died, he would make sure Naruto wouldn't suffer anymore.

"Right. Got any clothes I can borrow?" If Menma remembered correctly, there was a box of leftover clothing that he used to stitch his up whenever his shirt tore during his academy training. The previous owner apparently left a lot of stuff when he keeled over cause he had no will. And since the apartment was a government subsidiary, most of the stuff was just given to whatever orphan who came. Which was Naruto. Or himself, Menma. Who was Naruto. Fuck this is confusing.

"Yah, I got some nii-san. They're over here." Naruto brought the big box over by dragging it butt first. Menma was simply waiting for what Chi-chan called the Idiocy Horizon to appear. Apparently, Uzumaki Naruto was so stupid that existence itself warped to fit his dumb plans. Oh. He tripped on the rug and the box flew and hit the ceiling with enough force to wake up the neighborhood. A pair of pants, a shirt, and a picture album fell into Menma's waiting arms. Curious, he opened the album. Oh hey, it was him. And look, there's Chi-chan, but pregnant. Wait. Menma looked at the pictures carefully before slamming it closed.

"I can't believe that's what I put Chi-chan through. I should apologize." He sighed while putting on the pants and shirt, keeping the album grasped tightly in his arm. The child looked up to his brother, underwear on his head in curiosity.

"Who's Chi-chan nii-san?"

"My girlfriend." Menma clapped his hand over his mouth. Shit, he answered on auto-pilot. but, it wasn't like he never considered it before right? Hell, they were more than girlfriend and boyfriend. It's hard to not have an intimate relationship with someone you trusted with your very soul. He smiled.

"You should call her nee-san when you meet her got it? Cause that's the girl I'm gonna marry got it?"

"Got it, nii-san!" Of course Naruto would be happy. More family meant more people. More people who gave enough of a damn to even acknowledged he existed. Menma's smile quickly faded. He really should see Sarutobi-san about this album. A knock was heard on the door. Who in the world would be knocking here? Menma finished clothing himself, and opened the door. A shinbi ina dog mask and cloak stood outside. And it looked like he just randomly started choking when he opened the door.

"S-s-sensei?"

"No, but I might be related? What do you need Dog-san?" Menma answered back.

"Hokage-sama is looking for an Uzumaki Menma. He said for Menma to bring the pictures and there would be an explanation waiting for Menma-san when he arrived." The Anbu finished professionally, after his sudden relapse.

"Ok, let's get going! I always wanted to try this technique." Menma grasped Dog-san's shoulder with one hand and channeled his faith into his left hand. He never casted Homeward before. But if he could break Lightning Stake, who's to say he can't break other miracles? A bolt of lightning later, and they were both standing in the middle of the Hokage's office. Or rather, Menma was standing. Dog-san had been thrown across the room at high velocity and crashed into wall leaving a heavy dent in the chakra saturated wood. The Anbu on guard quickly scrambled into action, but nearly fumbled their equipment at what they saw.

"Yondaime-sama?" One of them questioned openly and was totally ignored.

"Woops, sorry Dog-san. Guess I should have warned you, a lot of my techniques are based off lightning." Menma nodded to himself. He realized that breaking miracles was pretty cool, but gave them weird after effects. Lightning Stake had no travel time which was amazing, but no velocity behind the impact either. Homeward apparently originally used waves of sunlight to travel. But by overloading it, he accidentally used lightning. He had been more than prepared for some outrageous outcome. Dog-san wasn't so lucky. A light cough interrupted his thinking.

"Menma-kun, it's good to see you again. How have you been?" The elderly man questioned.

"Pretty good old man. But, you said we were gonna talk when I got here, so I hope you're ready to talk." The smile was disarming. But the conviction was iron. Menma wanted answers to questions. Especially why his heritage was hidden.

"Of course Menma-kun. Guards, please leave. And take Kakashi-san with you, he may need some medical attention for that concussion." The Hokage ordered.

"But Hokage-Sama!" One man protested. Sarutobi silenced him with one hand motion.

"Trust me, the only difference between you being here or not, is how many names would have to be added to the memorial stone. Please, escort Kakashi-kun to the hospital, and seal the outside of my office so we will not be overheard." The guards silently left, with Kakashi, or Dog-san as Menma knew him, draped over the shoulders of one of the guards. The door was clicked shut, and locked with a blue hue and application of seals.

"Now Naruto, what would you like explained?" Menma groaned. Where to start?

 **A short while later dana nana nana nana**

"That crystal ball saw me all the way in Drangleic?" Sarutobi nodded in response.

"So you knew all this time, Sarutobi-san?" Sarutobi nodded once, before replying.

"Of course. While it may seem harsh Menma, you are our Jinchuuriki. While I see you as a normal person, you are essentially a weapon of mass destruction in the eyes of many. Thus, it was decided that a multitude of resources would be dedicated to observation, deception, and misinformation. A shinobi's lifeblood if you would. I saw everything through my crystal. Even the time you spent snuggling wi-" Menma started growling.

"Oi, oi, oi old man. I knew you were a pervert Sarutobi-san, but that was a private moment!" Sarutobi coughed into his hand, attempting to change the subject.

"Very well. But now you know why exactly you were deceived for so long." Menma scoffed.

"I can understand, but I can't appreciate. You don't understand Sarutobi-san. The land I went to, they studied the essence of the soul as a science. I split mine in half. That's damaged on a level I can't even begin to describe."

"I am sorry. But I did what I must, and am willing to do so again. So long as you are protected, the village is safe. And so long as the village is safe, you are protected." Menma couldn't even bring himself to hate the old man. He could understand. To love someone or something so wholeheartedly that you would put unconditional trust in them. Sarutobi was simply betrayed by the village he loved, and Naruto and Menma payed for it. Sarutobi decided that perhaps letting the young man stew in his resentment wasn't for the best. So he decided to bridge the gap.

"Come here Menma." The old man beckoned. As the young man strode over to his desk, Sarutobi lifted the crystal ball out of his desk drawer.

"Think of the girl. Think of her very essence, and you will be able to see her." Menma thought for a long time. And it all came back to that one small smile she gave him. It may have been a short while ago, but it felt like an eternity. He pulled at those feelings he could see.

"Look." Sarutobi said quietly. And Menma did. He could make out some foggy shapes, before it started to focus into clarity.

"What is she doing there! She's not ready, even the old man said so! It's barely even been 12 hours since we found the first shard!" The black haired man's outburst shocked Sarutobi. So he decided to clarify something. Menma was amazed. Apparently time in Drangleic didn't work properly. Sarutobi noticed this when one night he had been watching the two work their way through a castle on the edges of the forest. And the next night they were in the middle of a volcano.

"But, she's missing a shard. I have to get it to her. I have to find her! I-I-I can't let her do this." He saw the sunken eyes. The grime in her hair. The weariness in her body. Chi-chan apparently hadn't slept since the time he died. Fuck. How was he supposed to get there?

"Menma-kun, how exactly does your technique work?" Sarutobi had a glint in his eye. The same one he had the day he had been crowned The Professor.

 **Swoi swoi swoi My roflcopter goes Plot Device**

Miyazaki Chiyoko was tired. But, she couldn't sleep. Not since the first night. She tried. Oh she tried. She woke up screaming the first time. She woke up crying the second. Shanalotte had to knock her out the third to make sure she didn't injure anyone in her knight terrors. Her red hair had lost a lot of its vibrance. And her body had become near the point of hollowing more than once. She couldn't even channel the few miracles she _used_ to use. She slowly meandered down the steps of the Throne, with the Herald following behind.

"You're sure it can do it right?" The girl asked listlessly. It was her only hope. To see him again.

"If you cannot bring Uzumaki Naruto back with the power of the gods themselves, then you can cleanse the curse and meet him where he resides." The Herald's voice was strained. They both knew the implication if Chiyoko chose to cleanse the curse.

"I see." They walked down to the throne room. Using the soapstone, she called upon the two signs that resided at the bottom. Vengarl of Forossa was the first summon. His red twinswords gleaming with bloodlust on his belt. His body had far outgrown the man's head, but due to Naruto's sheer force of will, they somehow reached an agreement and became one man again. Benhart of Jugo was the next. He was fairly short, but his blue great sword more than made up for what he lacked in stature. And on his other belt was a small rapier. One he carried in remembrance of a friend.

"I cannot ask that you give your lives for this endeavor, but I must request y-" Chiyoko began.

"Aye lass, we'll fight. Vengarl here owes the boy a life debt, and my honor would be stained if I didn't at least give this my best effort before I fade." And with that, Benhart blew away any worries Chiyoko had. She nodded in response, face set in a stony expression. They made their way through the fog gate. What greeted them was a stench that reeked of death and decay. Nashandra, the Queen of Drangleic. Her scythe, bone skirt, and sheer height over that of mortal ken cut an imposing figure in the darkness. She spoke.

"I sense the soul of my sisters. But...one is absent. What have you done with soul of Elanna young Bearer?" Chiyoko stood her ground against the inhuman aberration.

"I was not the one who slayed her. I do not have it." The laughter that rang through the chambers sounded disturbingly like the rattle of bones.

"Then why are you here? To feed me your soul I suppose?" Chiyoko grit her teeth.

"I am here-" Benhart interrupted her.

"She knows why you're here lass. Skip the chit-chat. Vengarl, you and I up front." The wolf headed man simply nodded in response. He turned to Chiyoko.

"Miss Miyazaki, do not worry. Simply focus on the souls so that you may draw the essence out of Nashandra." Vengarl nodded to himself, and charged. The man stood just at the shoulder of Nashandra, and cut quite the threatening figure himself. He danced and he slashed, diving out of range of any scythe swings, allowing Nashandra to overextend. when she did, Benhart would dive right in, parrying the swings with his rapier and swinging his great sword one handed into the she-devil. Chiyoko held on, chanting magic to try and coax from the souls of the sisters the energy required to absorb the evil of Nashandra. Unfortunately for Vengarl, his body was still human in function. Moving the masses of muscle required great force. And Benhart was old. Far too old to be fighting what was essentially a demon hiding in human flesh. It gave Nashandra one opening, and she quickly chanted a spell herself. From her body came out waves of darkness battering the two warriors and throwing them away from her.

"I have entertained you long enough, Bearer of the Curse. You know that only two souls is not strong enough for the ritual you require to claim victory. Surrender those souls to me, and I shall make your deaths painless. Otherwise, I shall quite enjoy ripping you limb from limb as I feast on your remains." Nashandra gave Chiyoko a final ultimatum. Chiyoko was on the edge of an emotional break down. Why isn't it enough! Why was she never enough! She couldn't save him then, and she can't anyone now. She cried in despair, the hopelessness of her situation finally cutting through to her heart. Benhart came close as Vengarl brought up the rear and kept an eye on Nashandra.

"Lass," He whispered gently. "We won't get another chance if you perish here. Vengarl and I? We've lived long wonderous lives. And with the help of your blonde knight, we've both come to terms with our deaths. Let us old men take the fall. It is our duty after all." As he talked a grandfatherly smile crept across his face. It hurt the old man. This girl was the same age as his own grand daughter would have been. And he treated her like such, since he could never return to proud Jugo.

"Oi Vengarl, ya ready?" Benhart asked of the mountain man.

"Yes I am Sir Benhart!" Was the reply.

"When we give the signal, run girly." Chiyoko nodded, and gathered up the two remaining shards of darkness. There was a shift in the air behind Vengarl.

"Vengarl, behind ye!" The old man shouted in worry. The mountain man turned, barely able to see the scythe that was coming. It pierced him through. Nashandra disappeared once again.

"Get running lass!" Benhart shouted. His rapier once again parried the strike that would run him through. Chiyoko sprinted with all her effort. But the months of exhaustion and night mares had taken its toll. She collapsed at the edge of the fog door. In one more shift of air, Nashandra appeared before her. Chiyoko spat in her direction.

"Do not worry, your friends have not died. I would not grant them such quick and honorable deaths for trying to usurp their queen. But they do not have much time. An hour or two at most. So, you may hand me the souls, and I will make it swift for all parties. Or, defy me once more, and you will wish for the Abyss itself." Chiyoko held the souls even tighter. They held a warmness she simply couldn't understand. One that belonged to the one she loved. And she wouldn't surrender them ever. She shook her head in defiance.

"Defiance until the very end? Very well." Nashandra brought her scythe to bear, and began chanting a curse upon Chiyoko's own soul. Until a flash of light interrupted her and forced her to swiftly step away.

"Oi." It couldn't be.

"Chi-chan." She turned to him. He looked different. More feral if she tried describing him now. The whisker marks had faded, but she could feel they were still there. And the black stripe of hair certainly changed his appearance.

"Did she make you cry?" Still too stunned, Chiyoko stared at him.

"Oi, lady. Were you the one to make Chi-chan cry?" Nashandra stared at him like he grew a second head. Hell, even Benhart started chuckling from the ground before he started heaving from his injuries once more. Nashandra nodded once.

"I see." What did he see? Chiyoko didn't see shit. One moment she's having the fight of her life, and this-this-this IDIOT somehow infects even her enemy with his stupidity. Chiyoko smiled. She missed him so much.

"Chi-chan, I need the other two souls." He held his hand out, and nodding dumbly, Chiyoko dumped the contents of her bag into his open hand. He crushed them and absorbed their essence. Everyone in the room was stupefied.

 **POV Change**

This, this felt right thought Menma. As the two souls made their way into his very own, he could feel his own soul thrum in excitement. A sense of fulfillment, with only one piece left. He quickly browsed the memories. Wow, the Iron King was a pedophile. Nadalia wasn't even fifteen years old, and called the Fume Knight Raime and Sir Alonne as her two older brothers. That was simply disturbing. And the King of Eleum Lloyce looked like his dad. And Alsanna looked like his mom. If the Iron King was disturbing, then the Frozen King was disconcerting. And they built their kingdoms in the most absurd places. The iron king built it on top of a literal foundation of ash, and the frozen king built his upon the birthplace of demons in hopes of being the containment. God, was Vendrick the only sane king? He wasn't even that sane in the first place. He tried to wage war against a race of peaceful tree loving tree people. _Tree People._ How could you possibly hate tree people? A sudden thought struck Menma.

"Chi-chan, promise me when you put on the crown, you won't try and kill tree people." Oh she's doing that cute confused thing again. He smiled at her. Oh. Oh she's glaring again. She's really angry. Really angry.

" _I won't be able to put on the crown, because you just consumed our last two chances, idiot!_ " She was nearly screeching herself hoarse at the end. Nashandra started laughing.

"This was the man you fought for? An idiot with a cute face. Charming." Menma took offense to that, and lazily tossed a Hex Orb towards her.

"Only Chi-chan gets to call me idiot, lady. I may be an idiot, but I'm _her_ idiot." Chi-chan started crying again. Naruto thought it was in self pity this time, but couldn't figure out why. Nashandra simply continued to ignore the orb. What could hexes do to one made of darkness? The moment it made contact, however, it was _painful._ She wouldn't even wish this pain upon her husband. The soul wrenching feeling of the orb. Nashandra couldn't understand. She saw the binary haired man grin.

"And I'm just an idiot with a cute face, thank you very much. I happen to have a very, very, dark soul." Menma grinned ferally. And started hurling orbs of darkness at the woman. If a miracle was the sign of the righteousness and fierceness of faith, a hex was the loneliness and anger that clung to the dregs of every human mind. And Menma had a lot of pent up anger and loneliness. A. Whole. Lot. A Lightning Stake formed in his right hand. And another formed in his left, yet it was different. It was dark. Not black, but dark. It consumed light, and let out a feeling of cold compared to the warmth of the normal Lightning Stake.

"And you have a piece of it."

A judicious amount of lightning later...

Menma grinned as he consumed Nashandra's soul. Oh god he was gonna vomit. The woman was disgusting. No wonder Vendrick would rather wage war against peaceful tree people than stay at home with his wife. Hell, Naruto would bet good money the war was a ruse so that Vendrick would never have to see his wife again! Naruto felt someone poke his shoulder. He turned around only to catch a fist flying into his cheek sending him into the already healed and stretching Vengarl. Both the men went down. Hard. Benhart was laughing again. Then coughing as Shanalotte patted his back and tried to fix his leg. Naruto stood up.

"Your hair is black now. Why?" He ignored her, walked up and scooped her in his arms.

 **POV change**

Chiyoko cried into his shoulder. Then she stomped on him. Punched him. Screamed. Hugged him. Cried again. Screamed again. And the whole time, the idiot was smiling. That stupid bright smile. She calmed herself down, and began.

"Naru-" He interrupted her.

"Menma." What.

"What?" What.

"I had to change my name so I could fully come back to life." What.

"Explain. Now." She gritted her teeth. A few minutes later she wanted to punch the idiot. Apparently he was friends with some demon, and that wasn't even the first time he nearly died. The demon just kept on bringing him back to life. What. The. Hell! She was worried for this idiot. She shed tears, lost sleep, and he was apparently just sitting at home trying to figure out a way to come back! She smiled. He recoiled. She smiled even brighter. He knew now. She better close the trap quickly.

"Menma-kun." Hmm, that actually rolled off the tongue quite nicely thought Chiyoko.

"Yes, Chi-chan?" Oh that lovable idiot. Poor bastard.

"I'm going to start hitting you. I don't know when I'm going to stop." Chiyoko cracked her knuckles.

 **POV Change**

"Shan-nee, tell Chi-chan to stop being so mean!" Menma Uzumaki begged. Full grown man, slayer of the dark sisters, and a man who swung lighting around as well as he breathed air, was begging this slip of a woman to protect him from the demon that was Chiyoko Miyazaki. The woman chuckled as the demonic aura around the girl intensified.

"Now, now, _Chi-chan_ , there's no reason to punish Menma-chan." Oh god. Menma could see his own death. It looked painful. And that shouldn't even go there. And that normally doesn't bend that way. Oh god. Shan-nee was teasing Chi-chan. He asked for help woman, not an early grave!

"But, in all seriousness, you have a few choices in front of you, Bearer of the Curse." In an instant, the atmosphere of impending doom returned. He knew the choices. He approved none of them. So he offered his own.

"Chi-chan, I can honestly say I have no clue where Drangleic is." She stared at him blankly. He better get to the point.

"But, my home is so far away, that time does not even flow the way it does here. I can bring you there, if you wish." She looked tempted. But she had a duty. One that I fully understood.

"Shanalotte," Chiyoko turned to the Herald. "What should I do?"

"As the Herald, it is my job to ensure that you sit up on the Throne of Want, and ensure that the cycle continues its never ending path towards the end of time." Chiyoko nodded, prepared to step forward, but was halted by Shanalotte.

"As your friend, I think you should leave. Leave and never return. Any undead can fulfill the prophecy now that you've opened the way. And many are honorable enough or suicidal enough to willingly start a new cycle." Chiyoko knew what this meant for the Herald however. She hugged her deeply and began to cry.

"I'll miss you." Chiyoko said through her sobs.

"I'll miss you as well." Naruto and the others stood solemnly to the side. Benhart coughed into his hand to draw some attention.

"Laddie, me and Vengarl were talking with the rest of the inhabitants of the Majula outskirts. And well, we were gonna gift this to the lass upon success, but I think you may make better use of it, either to pass on or to learn yourself." He pulled out a small box and handed it to the now black haired man.

"It's called a bottomless box Sir Uzumaki. In it contains enough material to build every single weapon known to Drangleic, and the fighting styles of all who were willing to pass it on from Majula and the surrounding areas." Menma opened his eyes wide. In his hand was a literal treasure trove. Multiple countries from his home would go to war for this box. Powerful materials and fighting styles so powerful they could even reduce Undead and dragons to ash?

"I'll protect it with my life." He nodded in thanks to the two, and then pulled them into a hug. Or, whatever he could get of Vengarl anyways. Both the men embraced him before pulling away.

"Ah, there's a small gift for you in there as well. We heard your fantastic armor was ruined by the poisonous dragon Sinh." New armor? Quickly rummaging through the box he started pulling at whatever he could find but couldn't grasp anything.

"Lad, that's not how a bottomless box works. There's a list on top of the box of it's contents, and ya gotta simply think of the name and pull." He quickly scanned for whatever could be his armor before he came upon something he had no recognition.

"Wolf's Blood Knight?" With one strong pull, out came the chest piece. Then, he started focusing on the rest of the set and slowly pulled the other pieces as well.

"Aye, try it on for size. Might as well make sure before you leave. Otherwise the old crow might be insulted that you wouldn't consider her work perfection." He pulled off the unnecessary clothing he had on, and pulled on the pants and tunic that came with the set, along with adorning the set itself.

"It fits great! Why wolf's blood though?" Menma couldn't help be curious.

"Well, your original armor was that of a Lion right? Proud, regal, golden. That ain't you. You're more like the wolf. Willing to work, willing to fight. All to ensure that every member of the pack can live. The Lion is known as the Power in Drangleic. While wolves represent the Protection. It also is created and enchanted using the Souls of the Blood of the Wolf." What.

"What." Menma was totally confused.

"I had the same reaction Sir Uzumaki. But the Emerald Herald there knows soul magic long thought lost to us. She used the blood of wolves that died defending their pack to create a soul by drawing the very power of the wolf out through its blood. Then those souls were used to create your armor." While that made sense on a word to word level to Menma, he still couldn't understand it at all. The Herald, long done with her conversation with Chiyoko decided to cut in.

"Basically, so long as you fight to protect, the armor will find anyway to help you. Giving you the strength to fight, the agility to dodge, or even the endurance to survive. It may even give you luck should it be necessary." She explained. Soul magic was powerful. Not simply because of crystal magic and sorceries, but the actual manipulation of the soul was something that only the Emerald Herald of Drangleic or the Firekeepers of lore could do.

"Wait, where'd the helm go?" No, Chi-chan don't you dare thought Naruto. He turned around and watched as she was about to kick it into the chasm below. One quick Homeward flash, and a spank on the bottom later, Menma retrieved his helm and received a kick to the nads. That he couldn't feel. Cause he was wearing awesome armor. And Chi-chan was hopping around on one foot while Shan-nee nearly broke down in a fit of laughter.

"What is it with you and kicking my helms? First the awesome lion one. Then the mask from Luca-chan. Then that cool one with the tassel that I got from saving that shrine maiden. Then there was the Havel helm, which was literally supposed to be in a monument somewhere, that you managed to break your foot on. Alonne's whole armor set. The helm I supposedly got from Alsanna as a gift for some reason that you literally just kicked in front of me not five minutes ago. And the dark mask that I got as victory against that wraith that tried to eviscerate you from behind!" He was reaching the end point on this. And Chiyoko wasn't even reacting. She was merely tapping her foot while crossing her arms, looking disappointed. Why the hell was she disappointed? It's not like he... was.. her.. knight. Shit. Veldstadt's a god damned genius. Dragon caves, knights, and spears his ass. He recalled that what little Chiyoko remembered of her life was from childhood. Chiyoko was the daughter of a noble. A noble girl who's childhood dream would be just like that of other little girls. Damn it. The two old timers better not laugh. He handed the helm back to Chiyoko. He kneeled. Damn it they started laughing.

"Would the noble lady do me the honor?" He said while smiling. Her smile was small. Just like before. And he smiled even brighter.

"Of course, sir knight." Her hands were pretty gentle he thought. She placed it slowly, tightened the straps correctly, and even made sure the face plate was at a decent angle. God damn it she practiced for this. He felt even dumber now. It wasn't helping that he could tell Vengarl nearly fell over laughing and that Benhart _did_ fall over laughing. He stood up, holding his sigh in and burying it deep. The things he did for love. He offered her his hand.

"My thanks my lady." And bowed.

"A most gracious welcome Sir Knight." She said gracefully.

"And way too damn long overdue." She grumbled. Meanwhile, Menma looked for a mirror.

"Here laddie, a polished edge does just as well." Benhart said as he handed him the Blue Moon Greatsword. Menma had to admit, in terms of armor he had seen here, this was insanely well designed. It was of sleek design, yet he could tell the steel was just as strong as that of his Lion set. The helm was covered by a deep blue cloth, and the face mask was fused to the top of the helm, creating an overhang. A depiction of a snarling wolf was etched onto the top of his helm. He tested out the joins. It felt like he was wearing cloth. There were about one or two angles he couldn't reach, but he probably couldn't have properly reached them without armor anyways. This was a seriously impressive set.

"Apparently the old crow remembered your crazy style from when you rescued her. Said it reminded her of a knight of her homeland who needed absurdly mobile armor to practice his swordsmanship. She decided that the armor would be a perfect fit for you." Menma nodded. Going back to the life of a shinobi was not going to be an easy one. Especially since Chi-chan was terrible at stealth. She was crazy clumsy every time she tried. Hell, one time they were sneaking past knights in the castle library, and she tripped. Into a bookshelf. Normally, most people would hit the shelf, and perhaps shake it at worst. She managed to hit it at such an angle the entire library came toppling down. The armor would certainly be perfect for the fight that would follow any attempts at stealth. He did a full turn while admiring himself. It was fairly quiet too, probably because there was reinforced cloth at the joints and it was freshly oiled.

"Ne, what do you think Chi-chan?" He asked with an attempt at a regal gesture. She blushed profusely, and started kneading her hands into her skirt. He couldn't hold back his laughter and hugged her.

"Well, well, just one last gift to give then. I supposed I could part with this, but I do expect you to return it." Shanalotte's voice began to crack. In that one moment, Menma thought she looked tired. Extremely so. The Herald held out a tome.

"These are..." Chiyoko started.

"My research notes on magic as a whole. I've lived a long life as the Herald, Chiyoko. I hope you can use it to discover more magics. Rather than just break them like your boyfriend." Menma pouted at that. He didn't _break_ them.

"Don't pout. And yes you do. You took one of the holiest melee combat spells in the known world and turned it into a ranged hex of equal if not more strength. And what you do for Homeward doesn't even make sense! You literally break your spells Menma. And I have no idea how you do it." Holy cow can she read minds?

"Yes." Really?

"Yes, really, Menma." Even that one time I-

"Yes that one time you had that dir-" He quickly put his hand to her mouth, muffling the rest of her words. He sighed a breath of relief. Damn, it looks like it's time to go. He hugged them all one last time, before Chiyoko did the same. He then hugged her. He would never let her go. Not after this much sacrifice just to make sure they had the chance. He casted Homeward Flash. And they were gone.

Benhart stood up. And thought to himself deeply while grasping his chin. The Emerald Herald decided to calm his worries.

"They'll be fine. Menma Uzumaki may be an idiot, but he certainly is the idiot of Chiyoko Miyazaki. Or would it be Chiyoko Uzumaki now? I'm pretty sure they would get married. Maybe Menma will take her name?" Benhart thought she was crazy.

"No, I'm not." That was startling.

"I know, it's funny." Can you read minds?

"No." Really?

"I can't." Then how-

"The hell am I doing this? Benhart, I am ages old. I reincarnate every cycle and remember every reincarnation. Figuring out your thoughts is child's play." Then you know, you're not getting that book back right?

"I know."

"Lass, I haven't even said a word yet-"

"I'm perfectly predicting everything you say?" Shut up. Vengarl gave a great big belly laugh that echoed throughout the chamber.

"Goodbye Sir Benhart, Sir Vengarl, mayhaps we meet again." The Herald walked away and then began to talk to herself.

"I wonder if Veldstadt's still cursed. That's an idiot I'd like to throw to the first flame. 'Ambush Behind', 'Amazing Chest Ahead' . What a delinquent." She muttered softly. Benhart simply followed, with Vengarl bringing up the rear, making small talk as they went.

 **A/N: thanks for reading. Also, if people really like Veldstadt's implied character, I'd be willing to write some short stories that will probably be put in a compendium called something like Dark Soul's Knights: A reprieve from seriousness. The short summary would probably be this**

 **Most of Dark Souls is based on running headfirst into a wall. Of course, most would deign the exercise a futile effort and find a way less "taxing". Not these idiots. They're all just a collection of the dumbest idiots who succeeded.**

 **Um, if I do write another chapter, which is likely cause I like this story, at max maybe 4000 words to be expected, maybe 5000. If the Knights story does come out, it'd probably be 2000 a piece. With a Distinct focus on each knight before I just start spinning a roulette.**


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